I recently searched the entire 10-year archive of the LJ community Automaticwriter looking for forgotten poems that I’d posted there. Most of the pieces I found were from ’02-’03, often written and posted without revision, spontaneity being the goal and method at the time.
As it turns out, there were some good poems, as well as some that could be improved with revision. Here is an example of one of my finds, that I have no recollection of having written:
Second-Tier Interaction
The world, it was alight, melting.
Leaving the structure of impacted humans,
dogs on the beach distribute an ambience of
minor music, superior artillery.
How sweet her interactions, and deep her institutions.
Across the box on which a map of Afghanistan revealed
within some caverns and stark echoes.
Sweeties torment with heirloom musics,
and the beauty of plots in the desert.
Stars wave and dance over concrete pillars,
where evolved a danger of drumming.
Outside mountains soften the feet of travelers.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this. Evocative and strange, and I can almost hear the music playing in the background. You really do have a gift for words.
Thanks, Erzebet. I’m curious now about the almost-heard music, and wonder what it would be like.
Very good, very evocative. I’d go with Rain I, RCS, for almost-heard music in my head.
Thanks! When I originally made the Rain albums, the intended purpose was for them to be barely-heard, played so low as to be nearly inaudible.